


Scattering

by Laika_the_wife, Tuii



Series: Reflections [8]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Coitus Interruptus, Hand Jobs, Isak Has A Flair For The Drama, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, POV Isak Valtersen, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 08:39:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laika_the_wife/pseuds/Laika_the_wife, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuii/pseuds/Tuii
Summary: Scattering is a general physical process where some forms of radiation, such as light, sound, or moving particles, are forced to deviate from a straight trajectory by one or more paths due to localized non-uniformities in the medium through which they pass.--Isak had spent enough time with himself, flipping his switches and pushing his buttons, to know how his deranged brain worked. He was able to bypass it when necessary. The thought of the pain that he was about to feel drove him on, pulled him closer, he made a promise to himself that he’d make his body suffer later in equal amount. Now that Tom would not want to see him naked anymore he could finally leave marks.





	Scattering

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Tuii's wife Laika. This is sad but not painful.

Isak woke up to the sounds of silent conversation. He lay in their bed, still drained after spilling it all to Eskild earlier. He had told him everything. Eskild had cracked him. He’d been on the verge of breaking for so long and now that it had finally happened he didn’t feel the pain he’d been expecting to feel. He felt tranquility. His life was over. It was time to find out what the afterlife was like.

Isak sat up as quietly as he could. He couldn’t make out the words but recognised the voices. Tom was home, and he was talking with Eskild in the kitchen. Isak shivered. He didn’t want to face Tom. He had to face Tom.

He heard Tom and Eskild laugh at something together. He could’ve easily thought they were laughing at him. He chose not to. He had to, or he wouldn’t have been able to go through with this. Isak had spent enough time with himself, flipping his switches and pushing his buttons, to know how his deranged brain worked. He was able to bypass it when necessary. The thought of the pain that he was about to feel drove him on, pulled him closer, he made a promise to himself that he’d make his body suffer later in equal amount. Now that Tom would not want to see him naked anymore he could finally leave marks.

Isak snuck to the bathroom. He noticed that the razors were gone from their usual place on the edge of the sink. He looked into the mirror cabinet. Not there either.

“Motherfuckers”, he sighed. It stung, that they didn’t trust him with sharp objects. Or Eskild didn’t, Isak wasn’t sure if Tom had anything to do with this. Tom probably would’ve approved his punishment for all the shit Isak had been doing behind his back.

“Hey”, still semi-glittery Eskild said as Isak stepped to the kitchen door. “How are you feeling?”

Isak didn’t dare look at Tom. He half grunted, half shrugged. He wasn’t sure how he was feeling, not at all.

Eskild stood up and walked to Isak. He wrapped his arms around him and gave him a good squeeze.

“I must get going now. Talk to Tom. If I were you I’d start with your last night together with Even.”

Isak’s fingers clung to Eskild’s shirt.

“Please don’t go”, he whispered, suddenly terrified without knowing why. He was convinced that Tom would hurt him. He would kill him. Isak didn’t blame Tom for it, but he was a coward.

“You’ll be fine”, Eskild said, squeezing Isak again. “Just remember you’re loved. I really have to go now, I have places to be.”

Eskild squirmed his way out of Isak’s grip. Isak’s heart sank and the familiar spinning wheel of panic started making its rounds, hissing silently. He would die today. Things like that happened all the time, jealous boyfriends killed their partners for less than what Isak had done.

Eskild’s smile didn’t do much reassuring. Then he was gone.

“Isak”, Tom called from the dining table. “Please come here.”

Isak couldn’t feel his legs. He could barely breathe. When Tom stood up and started walking to him he backed up, hitting his back in the doorframe.

“Please don’t hurt me!” Isak whimpered. Tom froze mid-step.

“The only one here who wants to see you hurt is you, Isak”, Tom said finally. He had taken a long time to deliberate his words. “Shit. Why would you say something like that?”

Isak didn’t know. One more thing to add to the long list of things completely fucking alien to Isak Valtersen.

“Eskild asked me about my credit card balance. I suppose you know why.”

“Yes.” Isak bowed his head. He was so fucking ashamed. He had done the math with Eskild. “I’ll pay you back. As soon as I get a job.”

Tom sighed. That sound chipped a little piece off of Isak’s heart.

“It doesn’t matter. I can afford it. I just..stupid Eskild.”

Isak looked up, at Tom.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Eskild didn’t have to tell you I know about your fetish. Fling. Whatever it is.”

Fetish. Fling. Shit, Tom didn’t know about Even. Fucking Eskild. Isak took a deep breath.

“I think we’d better sit down.”

As they settled down on their own separate couches Isak wrapped himself inside a blanket. He needed edges. Something that’d contain him.

“Why did you let me see him?” Isak asked. Tom shrugged.

“I thought it’d make you happy. I have had some periods myself where I’d see one camboy regularly. It’s just jerking off, really.”

Isak would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so sure that he’d just start crying instead.

“Tom he’s my ex. The crazy one. Even.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have opened with that. Tom’s face shattered his heart. It was a mixture of disbelief, surprise, disappointment and shame. Isak knew that expression from his own face when he looked at Even staggering home days after leaving.

“I should have told you right away. But I didn’t, I needed to..I needed to see him, know he’s okay, he was a fucking  _ cam whore _ . The love of my life was a --” Isak slapped his hand against his mouth. The love of his life. Fuck.

“I have a feeling I won’t like where this conversation is going”, Tom said. He sounded defeated.

“I love you”, Isak said.

“Whatever.”

Isak saw Tom’s face grow darker, slowly. Lucky he was used to darkness by now.

“Just..hear me out. Let me tell you about me and Even and how it ended. Okay?”

Tom shrugged. But didn’t protest.

“We met in Nissen. We were together until last fall.” It had been a long time. Important years in their lives, too, years that defined who they were. “I was straight..ish before we met. Even is - was - my first love, my first guy, my first everything.”

It took nearly two hours to tell Tom everything. But he listened. He really listened through it all, through Isak’s tears and long long pauses when he struggled to keep himself together. Through Isak’s stories about what he had asked of Even to make him do. Tom listened.

“Do you understand”, Tom said silently, after Isak had finished. “That now I’m you. And you’re Even.”

That made Isak cry again. Out loud. He just wailed, rocking himself back and forth, he wanted nothing more than Tom to come to him and comfort him. Tom didn’t move.

Until he did.

The kiss Tom gave him felt rehearsed. It was something thoughtfully considered and deliberate, not given in a fit of passion or lust. Isak tried to remember how long ago it was when they had last kissed like this, without him trying to make amends or seek punishment. He couldn’t.

After their lips parted Isak had stopped crying. Tom took his face between his hands and wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

“Please”, Isak whispered. Tom kissed him again.

As Tom pressed down against him Isak slipped his arms out from under the blanket. He wrapped them around Tom, pushing his palms down on his muscular back. His strong shoulders that could have been strong enough to carry Isak if he could have let him. Isak could feel the muscles contract and extend with Tom’s movements when he laid Isak down on the couch under him.

It shouldn’t have been possible, but Isak wanted this. He wanted this so bad, right here, in the living room, with Tom. He didn’t know when he had last orgasmed. He must have, he and Tom had a sex life, even though for Isak it had been quite hazy and disconnected. It hadn’t been like this. Now he was here, he was bare, and he wasn’t afraid.

Isak felt every nerve on his skin electrify by Tom’s fingertips. Wherever he touched, Isak lit up. And the light he radiated was pure and bright. The veil had been lifted, the lies between him and Tom were gone. The lies between Isak and himself, them as well.

“Make me come.” Isak opened his eyes and looked into Tom’s, feverish. “Please. Make me come.”

Something about the way Tom smiled made Isak gasp in delight. He pushed himself up and claimed that smile as his, on his lips. He traced it with the tip of his tongue and lapped it all up eagerly. He felt Tom shiver against him and it felt so fucking good. Even after everything, Tom still thought he was sexy.

Tom himself was sexy as hell. The way he enveloped Isak was like nothing else. Isak was warm in that embrace, he was safe, he grabbed Tom’s shirt and pulled it up over his head. Tom threw it on the floor and sat up, on Isak’s hips, straddling him but carrying his weight on his knees. When Isak looked up, Tom towering over him, he moaned softly.

“Get back here.”

Isak ran his fingers along Tom’s abs. He twirled them in the dark husk of hair under his belly button. For a fleeting second he was worried, worried that Tom would stop, that he would leave, but as Tom took Isak’s shirt off that worry faded away.

Tom’s hands were so warm on Isak’s body. They traveled up and down, counted his ribs, teased his nipples. Isak was gasping as Tom trailed his fingers lower, around his belly button, then to the button of his jeans.

“Please”, Isak gasped. He needed this so bad. He wanted this.

Isak’s knees turned to jelly as Tom smirked. Oh god was he going to make him beg?

“Please what?” Tom whispered.

Yes.

“Please take my dick out.” Isak reached out and grasped at Tom’s chest. Tom tilted his head and ran his finger along Isak’s bulge, making him moan.

“Do you mean this dick right here?”

“Yes.”

“This..hard, beautiful dick I’m touching?”

“Yes!”

“Your dick?”

“YES! Oh God Tom please..”

Tom leaned forward and placed his palm against Isak’s stomach, fingers pointing down. He pressed lightly and pushed his hand inside Isak’s already crowded jeans. His fingertips seemed to reach  _ everywhere _ and Isak was losing his fucking mind. He bucked his hips, trying to push up against Tom’s hand, but Tom placed his free hand on Isak’s hip bone.

“Shhhh.”

Isak stopped moving. He looked up at Tom, lips parted, eyes half closed. His dick was throbbing against the light touch of Tom’s fingers. He needed it. He needed it so bad.

“Please..” Isak whimpered, lips trembling. He saw how happy Tom was to tease him like this. It made him happy as well. It had been a long time since he had connected like this with Tom. It felt good.

Tom pulled his hand out and popped the button. Isak gasped sharply. As Tom tortured him with pulling the zipper s-l-o-w-l-y, tooth by tooth, Isak heard his heart beat fast and hard.

“Fuck, Tom..”

He wanted to grab his dick and pump it into oblivion. He wanted to explode all over, he wanted to come. Isak’s hand wandered towards his dick without his authorization, but Tom grabbed his wrist and moved his hand aside.

The last tooth. Isak’s jeans were officially unzipped. His underwear struggled to contain his hard-on, and as Tom suddenly slid to the floor and pressed his mouth against Isak’s bulge Isak arched his back.

“Fuck!”

He laid back down shivering and panting as Tom’s palm guided him. Tom moved his lips against his underwear, rubbing him through the fabric, it was so hard and so soft at the same time. So muffled and so loud. Waves of pleasure and anticipation mixed together as they ran through Isak.

Tom grabbed his underwear with his teeth and started pulling. It took him fucking forever but finally he released Isak’s cock from its prison. Isak whimpered as Tom ran the tip of his tongue along the underside, from the root to the tip, then around and back down again. Round after round, teasing him.

“Tom! PLEASE.”

Tom’s mouth was so hot and wet. It enclosed Isak’s dick, and as Tom started sucking Isak cried out in pleasure.

Then he stopped. Isak opened his eyes, flustered.

“Tom I’m begging you..”

Tom grabbed Isak’s jeans and yanked them off. Fucking yes.

“Fuck me.”

“No.” Tom shook his head.

Isak was confused and horny as hell. Not his brightest state, so luckily Tom kept talking.

“I’m going to take you. I’m going to make you come. But I don’t want to fuck you.”

Isak couldn’t protest because Tom kissed him so deep. And he grabbed his dick and started working. He made Isak twitch and whine again, at the brink of insanity, then he stopped again.

“Oh come on!” Isak moaned.

“Lube, Isak. I’ll be right back.”

Tom got up and left Isak’s side. Isak laid still, his hands in his hair, eyes closed. He focused on his need, his throbbing cock, he felt his outlines along his skin and for a split second he was whole.

That split second was all he needed. He opened his eyes and sat up.

“Tom”, he said softly. “It’s okay.”

Tom entered the living room, lube in hand.

“What do you mean?”

“That was fucking hot and I’m really grateful for it but I don’t want to continue.”

Isak felt calm. And horny. But as the horniness cooled off he was feeling more and more calm. Tom didn’t hate him. They wouldn’t make this but it was, in its own sad way, okay.

Tom nodded slowly. He put the lube down and went to the kitchen.

“You need to eat, Isak.”

“Yeah. A sandwich would be fucking great right about now.” Isak packed himself into his underwear and pulled his jeans back on. When he zipped up he had already gone soft. He walked to the kitchen. Tom was indeed making him a sandwich.

“It’s over, isn’t it?” Isak asked.

Tom nodded, focusing on the sandwich.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t get an apartment very fast”, Isak sighed. “Even ruined my credit.”

“You made a great effort in ruining mine.”

That was a low blow. But it was true. Isak closed his eyes and jumped a bit when Tom hugged him.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Ever.”

“I made a great effort on that as well.”

Tom squeezed him a bit harder. Then he let go, slowly.

“I’m sleeping on the couch. Tomorrow I’ll move into a hotel, we have a great deal at work.”

“Are you sure?” Isak asked. “Eskild said I could crash at his place.”

Tom finished preparing the sandwich and placed it on the dining table.

“I’m sure. But it’s your decision. I think it’d be good for you to have someone to watch over you, but this is your home.”

Isak shook his head, tearing up. He wanted to tell Tom that no, this never was his home. That he has had only one home, ever, and it went down in ruins years ago. But he didn’t say it. It would have been cruel. Tom deserved better.

“I’m so sorry. You’re a wonderful man.”

“I try.” Tom poured Isak a glass of water. “Eat your sandwich, Isak.”

After Isak had wolfed down the food Tom made him two more. Isak ate those to the last crumb.

“I’m exhausted”, Isak said. “Can I go back to bed?”

“I can’t see why not.”

They didn’t look at eachother anymore. But as Isak stepped past Tom he reached out and stroked Isak’s cheek.

“Sleep tight.”

Isak brushed his lips lightly against Tom’s hand and kept going. He walked to the bedroom and fell into the bed, asleep before he even hit the sheets.


End file.
